About the author.

WHO IS THIS GUY?

Josh Greene is a multi-talented genius and humanitarian who enjoys writing his own bios. After a tour of duty in the trenches of children's theater, his professional career was launched with an appearance on FRASIER, which catapulted him into a guesthouse in the Valley. Shortly thereafter he did some time in the Broadway musical RENT, then returned home to pursue lifelong goals like fame, fortune, and the elimination of world hunger. Josh was the star of Discovery Channel’s RALLY ROUND THE HOUSE, and recently wrapped his 50th episode of TLC’s 10 YEARS YOUNGER. Providing the voice of Jimmy Lizard in the Weinstein Company’s animated hit HOODWINKED, he also penned the song RUNAWAY which was included on the film's award-winning soundtrack. In 2005 Josh wrote/directed/produced THE COMMISSION, a film which walked away with nine nominations and three wins, including "Best Comedy" and "Best Screenplay" at the 168 Hour Film Festival in L.A. Last year he starred with Tenacious D's Kyle Gass in the smash hit musical ROCK OF AGES, and is currently in development on three feature films, a television pilot, and his first solo album. It's looking like world hunger may just have to wait -- Or you could visit ONE.org and help stamp it out yourself!

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January
14
2008
1:13 am
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BEFORE

Sesame Street

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

If you guessed DAVID HASSELHOFF, or “The Hoff” as he likes to be called, you would be wrong. His picture, as well as the top left and bottom right ones, are Google image results for a “Zombie” search. The lower left shot is of me and my Zit Factory. Right now, I’m what a dermatologist would call a “Gold Mine.”

Folks insist, “Why, I didn’t even notice ’til you pointed it out.” Right. And I never noticed that girls have boobies, until someone pointed it out of course. Yeah, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on with my face, but it sure ain’t pretty. What’s more, it hurts like an SOB, and the classic “well-stop-touching-your-face” remedy is almost impossible to adhere to because it’s the only thing that brings any relief.

Why post this for the whole world to see? Well for starters, I completely trust the three of you who are reading this. But beyond that, I figured we all might as well have some fun with my current “situation,” and maybe even learn something in the process. Yes, we’re going to do an experiment!

Zitboy Before

<— That is my face as of about a half hour ago. (Click on it for an even better view!) I’d been keeping the whiskers a little longer to help camouflage the mountainscape that’s canvassing my face, plus shaving results in a scene that would make Lizzie Borden blush. Nevertheless, I needed to see exactly what I was dealing with, so I busted out the ole Gillette Fusion, and now my face is as smooth as a… dude with a really zitty face.

My girlfriend gets the credit for what we’re about to try. She’s recommended slathering hydro-cortisone all over my ugly mug, and is convinced that in a week it’ll be gone. Yeah… gone. In her defense, she’s been singing and dancing on a boat for six months and — as such — has no clue just how bad it’s gotten. Which is probably a good thing, as she’s still claiming me as her own. But I digress. Here’s the plan!

  1. Exfoliate ($10)
  2. Shave ($11)
  3. Wash ($7)
  4. Apply Hydrocortisone ($6)
  5. Wait (Free)

I will be back next Sunday with a complete report, and the “After” shots so that we can do the whole A-B routine. With any luck, I’ll be back to my ridiculously handsome zit-free self, and halfway to infomercial fame and fortune. Stay tuned…

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