So here I am, just weeks after a bout with the flu (or something of its ilk), bedridden for the past five days with a really bad kidney infection. I’ve been on this planet just over thirty-four years now, and this is only the third time I’ve had to endure this kind of cruelty. Cruelty, you ask? Well, without going into great detail…
A kidney infection often involves a lot of swelling, or rather — A LOT of swelling. I’d considered taking some pictures and posting them for all the world to see, but I’m pretty sure I promised my mother at some point years ago that I’d refrain from displaying my junk to the general public. Instead I’ve scoured the Net in search of a body-double and am pleased to present you with the following.
Mind you, this is all in the name of science. In the timeless words of Prince, “I’m not trying to offend or unnerve,” I simply thought y’all might wonder where I’ve been. And now you know: In bed with a severe kidney infection, Googling stuff like “Sausage Balloons.”
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